Most of us know we can’t pour from an empty cup, but sometimes refilling is easier said than done—especially for family caregivers. With so many demands on your time, it can be tempting to put self-care off until later. At the risk of that “later” becoming indefinite, here are 10 ways to pour a refill into your own cup.
- Move your body
- Breathe deeply with yoga and meditation
- Enjoy a tasty treat
- Savor a cuppa
- Get outside and experience nature
- Express yourself through art
- Sing!
- Have someone to talk to
- Access respite
- Make time for a favorite activity (guilt-free)
Movement and meditation
Family caregivers who don’t prioritize their own health care and mental health end up risking both. Luckily, regular exercise goes a long way toward protecting physical and psychological well-being. So, walk, run, ride a bike, have a dance party, go to the gym or do whatever else inspires you to move your body!
Yoga and meditation have long been lauded for their stress-fighting powers and ability to renew balance and inner peace. Even better, anyone can practice at some level—advanced poses are not necessary to reap the benefits. Certified yoga instructor and doctor of osteopathic medicine Natalie Nevins elaborates:
“Regular yoga practice creates mental clarity and calmness; increases body awareness; relieves chronic stress patterns; relaxes the mind; centers attention; and sharpens concentration.”
If that isn’t reason enough to lay out the yoga mat, a study on the effects of an eight-week yoga and meditation program for caregivers of a family member with Alzheimer’s disease found marked reductions in reported anxiety, stress and depression, along with measurably lower levels of cortisol.
While it can be difficult for caregivers to fit quiet time for meditation into an already jam-packed day, consider waking up 30 minutes earlier to stretch and move your body. Your own cup will feel fuller for the rest of the day.
Quick self-care tips
Sneak in quick refills every single day with short breaks consisting of small but meaningful acts of self-care. One quick way is to fill an actual cup—of coffee, tea or other hot drink. Beverages meant to be sipped will force you to slow down long enough to enjoy the ritual and excite your senses. Just make sure to sit down and enjoy that drink while it’s still hot! If you feel guilty, remember that coffee and tea have been linked to numerous health benefits.
There’s a reason many people turn to comfort food in times of stress: Food has the power to impact our moods. While the importance of a healthy, balanced diet cannot be overstated, part of finding balance is knowing that it’s OK to indulge in a tasty treat every once in a while. Keep it within reason, of course, and always follow your doctor’s orders when choosing your indulgence.
“I think it is crucial to a healthy lifestyle to have a little treat each day,” Brigitte Zeitlin, a registered dietician, explained in an article about why she enjoys dessert daily.
Whether it’s taking a walk on a tree-lined street or going deep into the forest, exposure to nature can also help caregivers relieve stress and depression. There are any number of ways to practice self-care outdoors—even if you don’t have a lot of time to do so. Unplug from social media and turn off the podcasts so you can be fully present and watch the sunset from your back porch. Lie down under a tree in your backyard and stare up at the leaves of its canopy for a few minutes. Feel the grass between your toes.
Express yourself
Expressing oneself is an important form of self-care. Creating art has been shown to reduce cortisol levels in patients who used it as therapy. Any number of forms of artistic expression can help caregivers fill their cups, including painting, sketching, making a collage, crocheting, coloring, taking photographs and more. Journaling is another creative outlet.
Singing can also lower cortisol levels, among a variety of other benefits. Of course, for most people that doesn’t mean jumping on stage or picking up a karaoke mic; the key is to sing where it’s comfortable. If you’re shy about belting your heart out, try doing it in the shower or in the car between errands. Choirs – which offer a sense of community and belonging – are a great choice for caregivers who are comfortable singing in a group.
The importance of expressing yourself with others cannot be overstated. Consider speaking with a therapist or joining a support group where it’s safe to share your joys and frustrations around caregiving. Being able to fully express yourself and let your feelings out is an important part of keeping your cup full.
Access respite
Prevent caregiver burnout by asking for help before caregiving becomes overwhelming. By scheduling regular breaks and prioritizing your own cup, the family member in your care will benefit from having a happier and healthier caregiver. In addition to your personal support system, don’t be afraid to access services in the community. Adult daycares can provide valuable respite, as can hired in-home help. Additionally, the Family Caregiver Support Program may be able to help pay for respite services.
Make time for a favorite activity (guilt-free)
Just like you wouldn’t try to put someone else’s oxygen mask on for them before putting on your own, you can’t pour into someone else’s cup from an empty one. While small acts of daily self-care can go a long way, our cups seem to drain faster when we go a long time without doing the things we enjoy. And yet some of the first sacrifices caregivers make are often the activities that bring them the most pleasure.
Some of the first sacrifices caregivers make are often the activities that bring them the most pleasure.
It isn’t easy, but making time for your favorite activities goes a long way to benefit both you and your loved one. A healthy life balance includes having fun and is imperative for good mental health. Trying to pour from an empty cup inevitably leads to burnout—reason enough to make time for your favorite hobby or pastime.
Dr. Marlynn Wei, MD, may have put it best when she wrote, “You may even feel guilty or selfish for paying attention to your own needs. What you need to know is this: In fact, practicing self-care allows the caregiver to remain more balanced, focused, and effective, which helps everyone involved.”