“Planning our deaths frees us up to live.”
Before starting her business, End of Life Options, Julie Albregts learned about the death industry while working for a funeral home. Now she educates, consults and helps clients plan for burials—their own or a family member’s. She advises her clients to start with their disposition toward burial, exploring their options, knowing their rights and making their wishes known.
Planning ahead – as Albregts learned – is a gift to survivors. It frees them from the crush of making dozens of costly, sometimes tense, decisions in a few short hours. Under such duress, there’s no time to research rights and options, which is why many people end up paying more or agreeing to unwanted or unnecessary goods and services. Survivors are often too emotionally drained to ask if embalming is required, if there are more affordable options for caskets or urns, which goods and services are optional, and whether items such as a cement vault are a must.
Planning ahead… is a gift to survivors. It frees them from the crush of making dozens of costly, sometimes tense, decisions in a few short hours.
Regardless of whether you’re preplanning or managing a funeral after a recent loss, answering the following three questions will guide you:
- What are your (or the deceased’s) values?
- What are you willing to spend?
- How will these plans be executed?
Learn the ‘Funeral Rule’ and how to protect yourself
Naomi and Andy had been married seven years and were still strapped by college debt when she received a stage four cancer diagnosis. The couple started talking about burial options three years before she died. Naomi wanted something inexpensive and unostentatious, a plain pine box, no embalming, a green cemetery, and a memorial that would honor her and their family.
In lieu of working with a funeral home, Naomi explored a variety of eco-friendly ways to dispose of her body. She contacted green cemeteries in her area, and also considered burial on family land. Like many of us, she began her research thinking that embalming was a legal requirement upheld for public health.
What she needed was the Funeral Rule, a 2020 FTC rule designed to help consumers make informed decisions.
Funeral fees explained
The Funeral Rule mandates that funeral homes provide cost information, including a general price list, in writing, and it guarantees the right to choose which funeral goods and services you want (with some exceptions).
Knowing the cost breakdown helps: The average traditional burial costs an average of $7,848 in 2021, while funerals with cremation cost approximately $6,971 on average. Why are these so costly?
First, a basic services fee that covers the work of the funeral directors: planning, securing permits and death certificates, preparing notices, holding the remains and coordinating arrangements with other providers. This can include the cemetery, which has its own requirements and fees.
You should know a cemetery charges different fees based upon plot location. It also charges for opening and closing the grave. Cemeteries may charge more (or refuse) to open the grave on Sundays. Most also charge a perpetual care fee for mowing and manicuring the space of a traditional plot.
Funeral home basic fees do not include the service, casket, embalming and preparing the body for a viewing. While no one is required to have a viewing or service at the funeral home, a funeral home may charge transportation fees for a viewing or service off-site, such as one held at a church. For viewings, they may require an embalming, though some religious or climate-conscious consumers may negotiate for a green burial, which means the body is buried within 24 to 72 hours of death without embalming. The remains are instead casketed in organic, biodegradable materials such as wicker, sturdy cardboard, or even an organic cloth shroud.
In such situations, bodies may be kept in funeral coolers or laid out with dry ice. Bodies may look a little different, but viewings are still possible with appropriate preparation, including cleaning, dressing, cosmetics (if desired) and preparation. Green burials are often in different sections of a cemetery or interred in specific cemeteries because the remains will not be under the cement vault or liner that many cemeteries require. (These keep the lawn even for mowing.)
Some costs are optional and must be listed as such, including transportation of the remains, services, viewings, equipment for a graveside service, caskets, urns or other decorous containers. Funeral homes may also charge in advance for goods and services from outside vendors: flowers, obituary publication, clergy and others who contribute. If they don’t know the cost at the time of planning, they’re required to provide a “good faith estimate” in writing.
While the funeral home may also attempt to charge for caskets purchased outside of the funeral homes, it’s your right to purchase from outside vendors without an added fee. You may also provide your own pallbearers, clergy, musicians, obituary publication, transportation, flower services, and even dressing and cosmetic services. You may also negotiate directly with the cemetery, a service that most funeral homes will do for you.
How to reduce casket expenses
Caskets may range from a few hundred dollars for plain pine or pressboard to many thousands for expensive wood, metal or customized designs. These can be the single highest expense for a burial, averaging anywhere from $2,000 to $10,000. Because it’s often in their best interest to upsell, funeral homes may not display or even carry the most affordable options. While many caskets are advertised as having a gasket or seal, these do not preserve the body but instead only allow the casket to last longer. The only functional role of a casket is to transport the remains in a dignified fashion.
The Rule allows funeral homes to communicate they require embalming for viewing, but they may not embalm without permission and may not state that embalming is required by law (except in special cases). In fact, they must tell you that embalming is not required by law. They cannot charge a fee if they embalm without permission. It’s important not to feel pressured that embalming is necessary, though some funeral homes may indicate that burial must be immediate or the body must be cremated. Of course, “immediate” may be up to 72 hours.
Some states have stricter laws than others. In Indiana, for example, a funeral director must be present at interment, and he or she can charge their full basic services fee for just verifying legal interment. In other states, a copy of the death certificate is all that’s needed.
Prepare and make a plan
It’s possible to honor yourself or a loved one without breaking the bank. Naomi’s funeral cost the family just about $2,000. She was interred in a traditional cemetery that did require a vault, but they negotiated a reasonable plot price. Her family was able to find a woodworker who made her casket at cost and charged a reasonable rate for labor.
While the topic is never an enjoyable one, it’s important to know your rights and make a plan now so no one is rushed into decisions they don’t want.
