Frontline nurses’ top advice for caregivers

You may not have the same formal training, but no one knows life in the trenches of caregiving better than nurses. With expertise caring for patients day after day, nurses are a go-to source for advice on how to deal with emotions, grief, stubbornness and, of course, finding time for self-care. Here is some advice from registered nurses for family caregivers: 

The importance of self-care 

Amanda Lundberg, RN: 

• “Don’t feel guilty about self-care. A caregiver can’t give their 100% to someone else if they are not taking care of themselves as well. Make sure as a caregiver that you distance yourself at times from the caregiving role. Go for a walk. Listen to your favorite music. Caregiving can be stressful, and you need that alone time to reset.”

Jennifer Kimball, RN:

• “Having been in health care my entire adult life, I can’t possibly count the number of times that caregivers die before those they are caring for. We wouldn’t buy a new car and never have the oil changed. If we did that it wouldn’t take long before the car would no longer run. It’s crazy to think you can neglect the care needed to maintain the human body and expect to just keep going as a caregiver. Caregivers, like nurses, must make sure they are implementing a self-care routine.” 

• “I probably am not the norm, but I love to work in my yard and love crafting. Those really are my therapies. I spend time every chance I get participating in those things for my mental health—it’s cathartic. I do make sure to tend to my own health needs as well. My medicines are no less important to my health than those whom I care for.”
  

Elizabeth Cantu, RN: 

• “Self-care for caregivers is like plugging in a Tesla to charge. Caregivers need to recharge and renew their batteries. Being a caregiver is a beautiful and rewarding job. Connecting with people and having beautiful moments to share with patients is priceless and a reminder of their ‘why.’”  

• “The work can also be demanding physically, emotionally and mentally. Showing up as your best self to ensure that your patient’s needs are fulfilled requires the individual to be at their best. If we don’t recharge our batteries, we’re not able to show up fully and be 100% in our roles, which also affects our home life.” 

• “Self-care is more than a bubble bath. Self-care is giving the caregiver permission to care for themselves as they do their patients. People begin to burn out when they are not nourishing themselves. A lack of self-compassion, self-love and kindness can lead to burnout. When burnout occurs, it can lead to medication errors, negligence and lack of attention to detail, causing harm to the patient and even increased health risks due to stress for the caregiver. Self-care is a non-negotiable when it comes to this line of work. Examples of self-care are doing something you love that reduces stress.”

Caring for senior loved ones

Amanda Lundberg, RN:

• “One tip when taking care of loved ones is to reminisce often with them. With older adults, the world sometimes seems to be running at a very fast pace. Spend some time talking with them about ‘the good old days.’”

Elizabeth Cantu, RN:

• “Caring for the older population of patients can be a wonderful experience. I remember having beautiful conversations with my patients about their good old days. They might not have close relationships with their children or not have any family at all. The caregiver may hold many hats in this partnership. Becoming a trusted companion and someone patient, kind, compassionate and actively listens to their needs.”

• “Meeting the patient where they are emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally helps encourage growth and follow-through on health goals. People are happiest when they are heard and honored as individuals and not just looked at as ‘patients.’”

Melissa Schoffstall, RN:

• “Caregivers should go with their loved one to doctors’ visits and serve as a second set of ears. They should also take notes and write down instructions from the physician so nothing is forgotten. Also, ensure your loved one is taking their medications. Purchase pill organizers and help them separate medication by day, time, etc.”

• “Use the amazing at-home technology to take your loved one’s vital signs so you can record and share with the patient’s care team. Some devices may include EKG at-home device; blood pressure cuff and INR (international normalized ratio) at-home device.”

Dealing with difficult ‘patients’

Elizabeth Cantu, RN:

• “It can be challenging to work with difficult patients. Setting boundaries is essential to guarding one’s energy and building trust. There are many different boundaries; the type of boundaries we want to stay away from being rigid (an impenetrable wall), loose (open and porous) or rubbery (all over the place). The best kind of boundaries that establish trust and respect are firm, fair and flexible.”

How to keep going when the job gets tough

Elizabeth Cantu, RN:

• “Life will always bring challenges, and the one thing about human beings remains we are resilient. Remember you are resilient, and I invite you to reevaluate your work-life balance, boundaries and self-care routine and revive your life as needed.”